You Don't Have a Daughter

So I missed two drills in a row.

My mother got married (again) on the weekend of the January drill. I had no plans to miss that, regardless of anything. Hey, third time's a charm. And what better good luck charm for your wedding than children from a previous marriage? I of course also found time to run through - er, run BY a friend a mine. She appreciated the visit greatly. I didn't bother informing anyone at my unit that I wasn't planning on being at drill, because ... *shrug* it's the Reserves (more explanations on this in the future, I'm sure).

So February came around. I knew the drill was coming up. I was a little iffy about being there, but it's what I do (normally), so whatever. I went ahead and put it on the schedule. 2nd weekend of February. Awesome. Didn't wanna go really, but you gotta do what you gotta do (more on THAT in the future, I'm sure). Friday before drill came around. Packed up the PT's in the bag, made sure all the morning gear was fresh and set out, and double-checked the drill schedule to ensure I had the correct date. And I didn't. It was the weekend prior. I had completely fucked up, and it was already over. Shit. Well that sucked.

I felt a little bad about that one, but I quickly got over it, as it tends to happen with these things. So now March has rolled around, and it's time for drill once again. I knew I had to make this happen. Two drills in a row. What are they going to say to me? What if the First Sergeant calls me out in morning formation? What the hell am I gonna say? "Sorry, Top ... I FORGOT." Oh, you forgot? That's cool. Hey, before you leave, give me those stripes. You don't need em. Here's this PFC rank until you figure it out. Nevertheless, I maintain my normal confident cool and push on. No need to get all shook up over shit that hasn't even happened yet. But it doesn't hurt to be mentally prepared.

I stepped into drill like I hadn't missed a day. People said hey, what's up! Haven't seen you in a while! My UA said "Hey, Sergeant! I needed you! I've been missing you!" Aww ... how sweet. She still didn't pay me while I was gone. But other than the gushing happiness from my UA, nobody particularly said anything. I knew this couldn't be it. Something HAD to happen. And then ... it did happen. "Sergeant, I need to see you in my office!" Ah ... shit. Here it comes. Stay cool. No beef. Never let em see you sweat. They're typically understanding people; and if they're not, then keep the ball in your court. He stood in front of me, not even bothering to close the door. Damn. Everybody's gonna hear this. I didn't shift my weight; I didn't change my breathing. I looked him right in the eye. Hey, if you're gonna play, play to win. Finally, he said it:

"We think you're a great representative for the unit. We're recommending you for Soldier of the Year."

Welcome to the Reserves.

Now there's more back story to this, of course. There have been months where I was standing in front of formations, or leading troops through drills, or helping fellow soldiers out with PT, making sure the lower enlisted were getting their equipment when needed; I've even won an award since I've been here, and while I'm not actively trying to disappear, I'm definitely not trying to stand out. While I may not like the system, for the most part I'll still do what I feel an NCO should be doing. So why would I be skipping drills if I'm doing what an NCO should be doing? For the answer to that you'd have to understand what we do or don't do during drill weekends, and I don't feel I should share info about our "training" here. The bottom line is I'm on top of my soldiers and there for them when they need it, and I help out my fellow NCOs when the time comes. This is why they recognize the talent; why they acknowledge it even after two consecutive missed drill dates is indicative of the broken system I spoke of earlier - even I don't understand that one.

To put it simply, I have the tools to get the job done. I just feel they can be better used doing other jobs. Even a great firefighter gets tired of running in the same building week after week, putting out fires on the same stove that only catches fire because the owners of the building don't know how to light a stove; and if that firefighter attempts to instruct those owners on the proper lighting of a stove, their answer is "You're a firefighter. It's your job to put the fire out when we fuck up." Hmm ... I think that firefighter would like to request a transfer. Let's at least put fires out for someone who's appreciative.

There's a lot more I probably could say, but I'm sure I'll hear enough from my cohorts. I didn't accept the Soldier of the Year nomination (or perhaps it truly was an NCO of the Year nomination). I told them the board was during my AT, which it is. Even if it weren't, I don't know if I would have accepted the nomination. But hey, it's all part of the system. Do what you gotta do and keep on moving. We'll talk more about doing what you gotta do at a later date ...